11 Ways To Piss Off Bloggers When You Comment

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red eyes w/macSome folks have realized that they don’t necessarily have to be bloggers to benefit from blog traffic, and have taken to commenting on blog posts to increase traffic and links.

It’s not the best method out there, but hey, whatever pays your rent.

Seriously though, if you’re incorporating blog commenting into your overall traffic plan (you do have an Overall Traffic Plan don’t you? Mon Dieu…) and you’re new to commenting, here’s …

11 Idiotic Things Commenters Can Do to  Guarantee a Pissed Off Blogger.

You know, the one who you hope will publish your comment and send you traffic.

Yes. I’m looking at YOU. If you’ve ever done one of these, and you were a new blogger or I knew you from somewhere, I probably let it slide the first time and sent you an email. If your comments disappear after that?

It’s probably because you did one or more of the following. Take heed. I’m not the only who gets pissed off by these…

1- Be Sure Not To Use Your Real Name.

We don’t care who you are, and we Love to enhance the credibility of our blog with links out to people who think their keyword is more important than their identity.

Hint: Most people will find John Doe , the Your Keyword-er to be acceptable.

2- Make Your Comment as Generic As Possible.

We’d never figure out that your comment couldn’t possibly have anything to do with our specific post.

3- Be an Ass Kisser to Increase Your Chances.

Of getting deleted.

4- Leave your Link in the Body of the Comment.

Because I didn’t see it in that spot that says “URL” or “link”. And it won’t get auto-moderated into a queue where I will then remove it.

5- Cut and Paste the Same Comment Everywhere.

I don’t ever go to other sites. I’m a blogger not a- hey, wait, I’m a BLOGGER. By Definition I go to other sites. What do you know about that?

6- Be Way, Way Off Topic.

Every conversation, sooner or later, is about Viagra, isn’t it? Thanks for skipping the foreplay. Real time saver.

7- Send a Fake Trackback.

If I’m a busy blogger, they won’t get moderated until right before Google would give you some potential credit. And speaking of Do Follow/I Follow/No No Follow…

8- If I’m a DoFollow Blogger, Make it Apparent that You Could Care Less About Interacting, And Just Want a Link

That’s SURE to get me to turn off the NoFollow attribute for that comment. Oh, you didn’t know we could control that? Sucks to be you.

9- Mistake My Blog for the Support Department.

If you’ve got a question for me? You should probably use the email I gave you.

Or the form on the site.

Or the email address on the site.

Or if it was a phone order, the number on the sales page.

Or the direct number I gave you.

Or Facebook private message. Or Stumble Upon private message.

For reals? You should ONLY resort to a blog comment as a means of reaching support if all other methods fail.

And then you should do something in your comment that would get it moderated, but not as spam, being as how you’re always including your credit card number, phone number, home address or some other personal information that I cringe at when I finally moderate comments later on in the day.

10 - Never Come Back.

What freak show said that comments were about community? If God wanted comments to have anything to do with community he would have started the words with the same four letters.

Why should you form partnerships or get to know me for a while, so your request for a favor later won’t sound off the wall and out of the blue?

11- Ignore My Comment Policy.

I wrote it for my health, not for something silly like, oh, I dunno, your benefit. That’s not why I put a link to it on every page and again under the big button.

Of course, to be fair, in the old theme it doesn’t look like a link. But it’s not like I’m the only person whose comment policy you’ve ignored.

Why pay attention to some page I took time out of my life to write? It’s not like it gives you guidelines guaranteed to help you get your comment published, so that if all you want is a link anyway, you can get it.

It’s not as if I might to Stumble, del.icio.us, Sphinn, or even Digg the sites of people who comment on my posts, or include them in a post on another day. Why should you bother to increase your chances of getting as many free one-way, traffic sending links as possible?

Don’t be silly.

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January 13, 2008 | Filed Under blog traffic, blogging 

Comments

23 Responses to “11 Ways To Piss Off Bloggers When You Comment”

  1. Matt B (1 comments.) on January 14th, 2008 1:30 am

    12. Comment as “Irritated from Thanet” or “Angry in Kent”. WTF is that about anyway? On most blogs every publicly shown field (save the comment itself) is optional and if not was “anon” to hard to type? If you are not articulate enough to say you are irritated/angry why did you comment.

    At least that is what I think.

  2. Tinu Abayomi-Paul (247 comments.) on January 14th, 2008 10:14 am

    Oh, no, I’m with you on that one. I can *usually* tell from the comment if they’re irritated or angry. It’s not a Dear Abby column for crying out loud. :)

  3. Morgan (106 comments.) on January 14th, 2008 6:44 pm

    Phony naming ass kissing insipid remarkers sycophantic responders one timer jerk wads should be shot! That’s what Daisy in Michigan thinks and Ezine is better for you than Viagra or so I’ve heard.

  4. Howard Young (33 comments.) on January 14th, 2008 11:17 pm

    Dear Abby,

    With all that great advice, I still get lots one night comments. How can I get them to comment to a more permanent relationship?

    – Hopeless Blogger

  5. Links Roundup - January 15th 2006 on January 15th, 2008 3:01 am

    […] 11 Ways To Piss Off Bloggers When You Comment - A sarcastic set of commentating rules for bad commentators. […]

  6. Zhu (1 comments.) on January 15th, 2008 5:14 pm

    I hope I won’t piss you off but…

    “Every conversation, sooner or later, is about Viagra, isn’t it? Thanks for skipping the foreplay. Real time saver.”

    This one made me laugh out loud :lol:

    Technically not comments, but pingbacks, I hate these scrapers who just target one keyword (let’s say “health”) and scrap your whole feed on their stupid blog full of ads as soon as you write the word in a post. Got of lot of these recently… as well as Viagra of course! :lol;

  7. Tinu Abayomi-Paul (247 comments.) on January 16th, 2008 3:55 am

    Morgan,

    I thought Daisy didn’t need Viagra? ;) So how would “she” know?

    Howard,

    Long time no see! *hug* I’ll write more about expanding comments into relationships, hopefully this week.

    Zhu,

    It’s not ass-kissing if it’s sincere. :) Glad I could ever make anyone laugh out loud. And they may not technically be comments, but I hate them too!

  8. Road2blogging links to other blogs of interest | Road 2 Blogging dot Com on January 22nd, 2008 11:11 am

    […] 11 ways to piss off bloggers when you comment  –  I’ve not been commenting much this week on different blogs, so this hasn’t been a huge problem for me lately, but I did get a whole load of spam from one person who was leaving a five word comment with three link backs to different sites they had, truly annoying. […]

  9. Colin King (1 comments.) on January 23rd, 2008 4:38 am

    And I thought I was alone. Your points #1 and #4 really piss me off. #1 because they either leave some juvenile nickname or keyword crap and #4 because I’m a dofollow blog, so they already get the linkback. I had one commentator who felt it was right to “fight for the right” to use his blog name in comments! As far as I’m concerned if you’re in someone else’s home you abide by their rules.

  10. Tinu Abayomi-Paul (247 comments.) on January 23rd, 2008 12:11 pm

    I’m right there with you Colin. You’re not only not alone, I think a great many bloggers feel it deeply. The question is, what can be do about combating the spam without combatting bloggers? One of the answer for me is the Lucia Linky Love plug in.

    I can’t believe someone fought you on the issue either. The audacity! If you contribute an article to Time magazine, they will not let you use the byline “Best Writer in the World.” Why do some people believe the rules of the offline world don’t apply online?

  11. Stine (1 comments.) on January 26th, 2008 4:16 am

    Hello, this is my first time here - I came from afrogtokiss, and was intrigued by the title of this post!
    I’m glad I did… I don’t get so much of this (I wouldn’t mind a little bit of ass-kissing, but I’m sure there’s a saturation point!)
    I must admit, though, that it’s sometimes hard to be sure of what is spam and what isn’t. When in doubt, I tend to let it past. (Don’t tell anyone…)
    Though in danger of sounding like an ass-kisser, I’m off to subscribe to your whatnot now….
    (And my name is Stine. Not uncommon in my part of the world)

  12. Tinu Abayomi-Paul (247 comments.) on January 27th, 2008 3:03 am

    Nice to meet you Stine. I wouldn’t try to judge your name, LOL, mine is Tinu. It’s only when the name is obviously not a human’s like Kitchen Table and Accessories, LOL.

    LOL @ the visual on an ass-kissing saturation point. I loved ass kissing in the beginning, don’t get me wrong. When it was sincerity slightly overblown it was great except for the fact that I got full of myself at times (like that wasn’t already going to happen.) What bothered me was when people inevitably thought that if they came to my blog and did some insincere ass kissing it entitled them to a certain number of favors later. Some people even threatened to use reverse ass kissing as a threat to me.

    Unbeknownst to them, the latter never works on me, and the former only works with people I have a history of getting private admiration from. :)

    Anyway. Moving on because that’s the most I’ve had the words ass and kissing together since college. Wow, all the people who replied to this are going to see this comment and laugh out loud in wonderment of how I am able to possess such large quantities of cuckoo.

    Wow.

    I think everyone lets spam slide when they’re not sure. Life is too short. You can always delete it later.

    So anyway. Welcome. Please don’t be afraid of me, I just haven’t slept in two days trying to get my last weekly newsletter out. Which hasn’t been a weekly since 2005 but who’s counting.

  13. Keith (1 comments.) on July 16th, 2008 12:24 pm

    As a blog owner, I hate it when people comment on my site and use profanity. There is no need for profanity on a blog unless the blog itself contains profanity.

    Have a little respect.

  14. Tinu Abayomi-Paul (41 comments.) on July 16th, 2008 12:29 pm

    So true, Keith. i think the same thing about snarky comments… if the post/site isn’t snarky and we’re professionals discussing something serious, particularly for the benefit of the people learning from the interaction, stay with the prevailing mood…

  15. JohnDoe1890 on July 17th, 2008 9:56 am

    I think that your post “11 Ways To Piss Off Bloggers When You Comment” was very smart and informative. Furthermore, I am going to continue reading your awesome blog which is about “freetraffictips”. I would like to request that the Destin, FL state traffic laws be altered so that Maplewood Dr. is a 30 MPH zone instead of 20.

    Also, please look at the website \por.com. Images that are doctored in MSPaint are so funny!!! Please link to it, if you like it.

  16. Tinu Abayomi-Paul (41 comments.) on July 17th, 2008 10:31 am

    Hilarious JohnDoe. I was going to delete the post when I saw your email address. Quite funny.

  17. Geoserv (1 comments.) on July 17th, 2008 11:50 am

    Im relatively new to blogging as well, I’ve always wondered how people send fake trackbacks, I get quite a few.

    I’ve done my share of ass kissing in the past, especially the first month or so of blogging but I think thats normal.

    I dont care if a blog is dofollow or not, I comment on along of blogs, and of course like all bloggers I hoping to get a bit of traffic when I comment otherwise people wouldn’t fill out the “Website” field on these forms.

    Good post, quite funny.

  18. Vote for this article at blogengage.com on July 17th, 2008 11:53 am

    11 Ways To Piss Off Bloggers When You Comment…

    Do any of these things and say bye bye to your comments on most blogs….

  19. gina (1 comments.) on July 17th, 2008 2:31 pm

    Found your post through Blog Engage just now! I’m not sure how many fake trackbacks I have received on my one blog, but I know I receive several each day. It gets annoying, especially when I look at the sites they are coming from. Nothing more than link farms with advertisements to items I have no desire to buy or promote. I have two blogs myself, so I usually put one in the website link, and the other in the comment itself.

    http://celebritytoday.today.com

  20. bbrian017 (1 comments.) on July 17th, 2008 3:06 pm

    Cheers for the awesome Tips! The last thing I want to do is piss off any bloggers!

    I wonder how many people do these things each day LOL…

    10 - Never Come Back - I thought this was funny! I see this happen so much in conversations at blog sites!

    I mean 80% of the people here won’t come back! One thing you do have going for ya is the Notify Mod. I like to get the e-mails if it’s not an options there a good chance I’ll never make my way back!

    I really need to have that little check box on my site!

    Cheers,

    http://www.blogengage.com/

    You’re on the front page, say thanks to Geoserv for that!

  21. U.S. Common Sense (1 comments.) on July 18th, 2008 7:53 pm

    Except for #1, I can agree with the list. In many bloggers and commentors, their screenname is their online persona. They tend to keep that name with them from website to website. As with mine, for example, and I’m sure as Geoserv. And having a program like WhoSez not only helps identify the author but shows other comments made by them across the net.

    I agree with the rest of the list though, especially #7. If I find those, I keep the comments but strip the link. Fortunately, my comment rate is low, so it doesn’t take me long to test the links provided.

  22. Sanjo-chan (1 comments.) on July 19th, 2008 4:14 pm

    This post is really helpful! I’m very careful when I leave comments on blog to avoid these problems. :D

    Actually, I had my own problem with a commentator who would leave a comment on a post just so his website (to a virtual currency store) can get on the Top Commentator spot. The same person did this on other blogs with the widget. He even lies about Stumbling the post. I had to remove the widget..Now his links will be removed so Google won’t follow it.

  23. casasbarlavento (1 comments.) on July 21st, 2008 10:02 am

    Well I must say that is a really unique topic. Al least I never saw something written about this before …

    You are right, there are some people that leave comments like “This is interesting …”, “You could put more pictures…” and that is why I also moderate my comments.

    But in the end is to call people attention and also request a little of their time to comment that we write on blogs. Isn’t it ?

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